I'm Still Here
by skichik
Summary: Songfic to John Rzeznic's Im still here. Harry's thoughts. please R


**I'm Still Here.**

I am a question to the world 

_Not an answer to be heard_

_Or a moment that's held in your arms_

I'm known for a moment, a moment that I never wanted, and a moment that changed my life – for the worst, & because of this moment people think they understand me, they say I love the attention it brings, but in truth if I could reverse that moment & change the outcome I would. How could anyone actually believe that I like being an orphan & having to live with these muggles – who hate even the word magic?

_& What do you think you'd ever say_

_I won't listen anyway_

_You don't know me_

_& I'll never be what you want_

_Me to be_

They always know what's best for me & they say that living with the Dursleys is for my protection, but after last year I somehow don't think I need protection anymore, because in the end it's gonna be me or him that dies. But everyone wants me to be his or her knight in shining armor, but did anyone ever ask me if I wanted to be a savior at all? I think not. Well if no one has the courtesy to ask then I won't even consider being their hero.

_& What_

_Do you think you'd understand?_

_I'm a boy, no, I'm a man _

_You can't take me _

_& Throw me away_

They all underestimate me but I'll show them all, what have they ever done? Nothing, & what have I done? Successfully faced & escaped from Voldemort four times! Except for Dumbledore no one else has ever gone head to head with him once & lived to tell the tale. But for some reason I'm the only one who can see that I'm no longer a child. I've lost more than they've even had & been through more hardships than they'll ever face & some of them are more than three times my age!

_& How _

_Can you learn what's never shown?_

_Yeah, you stand here on your own_

_They don't know me_

_Coz I'm not here_

People expect me to be something I'm not, but to keep them all from the bitter feeling of disappoint – that I know so well – I've pretended to be someone I'm not, but no longer can I maintain this façade, & they think they know me – but how can you know something that wasn't real to begin with?

_I want a moment to be real_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel_

_Wanna hold on & feel I belong_

I'm tired of being who they want me to be, I just want to be me – or at least get to know who I am. But no one will accept me for me – it all comes back to that one irreversible moment, that I would give anything to change.

_How can the world want me to change?_

_They're the ones that stay the same_

_They don't know me_

_Coz I'm not here_

They won't let me be me & if I try they think it's a phase & tell me to snap out of it quickly, but do they honestly think that all that they see is all that I am? Don't they realize there's another side of me that I'm trying to show? When will they see me, the real me?

_You see the things they never see_

_All you wanted I could be_

_Now you know me _

_& I'm not afraid_

Then _she_ came along & everything that I thought before then seemed childish & I realized that I was not in fact the man I believed I was, I was still a child. I want to be her everything, I want to be there for her through good times & bad, I want to hold on to her & never let go.

I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man? 

_They can't break me _

_As long as I know who I am_

I want her to know who I really am & so she is the first person I show my true colours to & she loves me for it & tells me so almost as often as I tell her that I love her, & when she's around no one can hurt me cause I'm real & I finally know who I am.

They cant tell me who to be 

_Coz I'm not what they see_

_Yeah, the world is still sleepin' while I keep on dreaming for me_

_& Their words are just whispers & lies that I'll never believe_

So, now that I show my true colours people think they can tell me that I'm not who I once was – 'cause I would never figure it out on my own - & they still think they know who I really am, but only she knows all of me & in the middle of the night I still wish that I was more. But I've given up on listening to everyone's lectures about who I'm supposed to be all that matters is that I am the one whom Ginny Weasley loves.

_**Fini**_


End file.
